the ties

I cannot tell you anything
I speak, and you take shares of my life
crush them like paper
tossed aside

your cynicism grabs my throat
chokes off the passage of words

they collect in my stomach
swirling like skywritten letters caught in a funnel
never diffusing

they pile in all corners inside me
firm formed clouds of everything I want to say
lifting me within
making me giddy with their gases
to the point I can't balance the helium-lightness
with the ringed neck bottling me off

I am a Chinese fishing cormorant in reverse
the fish happily stay swimming in my stomach

I can offer you nothing
I wish I could give it to you
but if you turned my clouds to rain
my fish to bones
both of us would be empty and pained